Wherever you go, there you are.
Two weeks ago I packed up my life in Florida to hit the road for a world travel journey. Getting on the road was a tough one.
I changed my flight twice as I just didn’t have everything ready to leave the U.S. and go on a journey around the world for an unknown amount of time.
My first stop was outside of Rome to see a friend for a short 24 hours. It was chaotic and frenetic. Mostly because I was still unraveling all I had experienced packing up my life and setting off for this adventure.
When I arrived to Greece it felt like home. I felt a sense of peace.
Maybe because I had been here before.
Maybe because this really is my happy place.
Maybe because there was familiarity and that gave me a sense of safety.
I started my time in Greece co-hosting the Ignite the Goddess Within Retreat, which was an incredible time of sisterhood connection with other women on a journey of personal growth and development. As my co-host and I parted ways a few days ago, I began to feel the anxiety and uncertainty rise within. Feeling anxious about what would be next, being on my own. I have a loose plan, all I had booked was a few weeks in Greece and the rest was all to unfold in the months ahead.
The anxiety has been with me for a while now, at least the last month as I prepared for this big transition.
As I sat in my anxiety, loneliness began to creep in. And I remembered this feeling.
It was familiar.
And not too far off in the distance.
I felt this way in Florida.
And there were times I felt this way in California.
And so as I sat there feeling this same feeling halfway across the world. I giggled for a moment at myself. I’ve traveled across the world to feel the same shit I felt at home. And then of course I got angry and judgy toward myself. It reminded me of this saying and book title by meditation teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever you go, there you are.
While going to far-off beautiful places is dreamy in the mind, you still have all of the baggage you’ve been holding onto living right with you, coming as a 2nd checked bag you didn't know you had.
So as I sat and listened to the anxiety and loneliness rising, noticing the judge, I allowed myself to feel, notice, and listen.
That judge has been with me, criticizing all the steps I’ve taken or haven’t taken. All the shoulda, couldas come out questioning every move and then being paralyzed by uncertainty and overwhelm.
This is the human experience.
The thought loop patterns that freeze us.
That have us question our every move.
That have us doubt and fear.
That hold us back.
And boy, was I in a heavy thought loop pattern.
The other day, the feelings were still brewing and stirring within me. I decided I would do things that made me feel good.
So I swam in the sea that morning.
I went to a yoga class on the island.
I stopped at a cute, little cafe and got a fresh juice and wrote my reflections.
I slowed down.
I took a nap.
I worked on some outstanding projects that are overdue.
And I nudged myself out of the room into the world to go watch the sunset.
Sunset chasing is one of my favorite things to do. To find the best places to watch the sun dive in the horizon. Hopping in the car and driving through the island brought me the sense of awe and adventure that comes to me when I travel.
This sunset chase brought me to find a place to eat along the water. I noticed this one restaurant that everyone was at, many were busy but this one particularly caught my eye. I looked at the menu and was surprised to see good vegetarian options, and specifically one Greek dish that I rarely see vegetarian…pastitsio!
There was an Old Greek Man with a fisherman hat standing as host to the restaurant. He greeted me with a smile, wrapped his arm around me and asked me where I’m from. I instantly started to feel a little bit of peace. He set me up at a table near the water instead of inside and told me I had beautiful eyes. I smiled, feeling his endearing grandfather essence.
The man checked on me throughout my meal like a grandfather would. And when I left, he gave me a big hug. I didn’t know it, but that’s exactly what I needed. I needed to feel the love from Greece that I’ve felt before.
I needed the warm embrace of a stranger letting me know it’s going to be okay.
I needed to be reminded that life is supporting me and there are good people in this world, everywhere.
Later that night, I looked up at the stars and asked for Greece to hold me, to love me. I asked the stars to allow me to receive the love of Greece, the love of the universe.
To remember that I am safe and everything will be okay.
I’m grateful for what this journey has given me so far, what it's reminded me of. That wherever I go, I will still be with all of me. And I can receive the abundance of outpouring love from this life when I am open to receiving it.
Let this be a reminder that when you’re in your feels, or being weighed down by heavy thoughts and emotions, Follow What Feels Good and be surprised by what the universe can offer you.
with love from Greece!