Tiny Habits, Big Shifts
I started reading Atomic Habits by James Clear a few months ago. [Side note: I’m usually reading several books at one time and depending on the book it takes me a while to finish it. So I’m still reading it even though I started it months ago ;)] If you haven’t read it, I highly suggest it.
I’m all about habit-hacks, rewiring our system and brain to work smarter not harder. I knew there were a few habits I felt I needed to break and a few I needed to start to support me. Trouble was, I couldn’t figure out a system yet.
I’ve never really liked washing dishes. It’s one of my least favorite chores.
I get impatient, bored, and simply just despise this activity. Because of this, I have no motivation to actually wash my dishes. Living alone is easy, I can let them pile up and the only one that it bothers is me.
But how loving is that to myself?
I didn’t really think of that until writing this. In any case, it’s definitely started to bother me. I would notice that when I was preparing for a trip, I would have a sink full of dishes that needed to get done before jetting off to the airport and then feeling stressed having to do all this preparation for my time away. Then the dish rack would be overflowing that my mom (who would stay at my place to take care of my dog) wouldn’t be able to wash dishes while she was there.
It was a snowball effect.
I got into a downward spiral with the dishwashing situation where the dish rack would be overflowing and I’d have to put away the dishes to have room for the dirty dishes that were desperately waiting in the sink to be washed.
I would huff and puff and resign feeling frustrated at myself, overwhelmed with the task, and just too damn tired to spend all that time for what should be a simple task.
I tried everything—listening to podcasts or books to keep me feeling like I was being productive and entertained. That worked for a short time. But there was nothing that would stick.
I felt stuck in this loop with no way out.
I knew there was something to creating Atomic Habits. But I had yet to have it happen for me, for the a-ha moment, for the light to click on and feel this magic sensation like ooooh I get it now.
I was determined to get out of this loop and not be imprisoned by my own resistance to clean dishes.
So I decided one day, that I would commit every night to washing my dishes before going to bed….no matter what.
No excuses.
No distractions.
That evening, I did just that. Washed all my dishes. It felt pretty good, but no magic spark ignited within me…yet. The next morning, without even thinking, I put the dishes away while prepping my morning tea routine. Again, no magic sparks started flying...yet. That night came and I washed the dishes in the sink. And then a little ember of a spark began. I thought, wow it’s so nice to put my dishes in an empty dish rack.
I felt lighter, like the heaviness of washing my dishes started to lift.
The next morning came and it felt like an unconscious routine—put away the dishes from the night before. And it felt different because instead of having dishes piled all over the place almost tumbling down because I waited a few days before clearing the sink, it took less than 5 minutes and was only a few dishes.
The lightbulb was on full blast in my mind.
I get it!! I finally get it!
I felt the reward, I felt the lightness, I felt the effect of what it’s like to create a new, simple habit.
And creating that simple habit started to have a ripple effect.
I started to get things done. Instead of putting things off on my to-do list like send that email, make that phone call, pay that bill, I just did it in the moment.
Life started to move in a faster, with ease, pace for me. I had more space in my mind for planning and executing.
It felt good. It felt rewarding. And I felt better about myself.
This one habit started to shift for me and allow me to adopt a few more simple things to apply daily/weekly.
Here’s a few others things I’ve started that are simple, tiny habits making a big shifts in my life:
Morning Meditation. instead of going back to sleep when the alarm goes off, I hit snooze and meditate. Yes, I meditate laying down. Meditation doesn’t have to be sitting in a chair or looking like a monk, it can be in your bed, in your car, in a meeting. This has shifted my habit of hitting the snooze button for 15 sometimes 60 minutes and instead do something that helps me start my day and get me going out of bed.
Wash the damn dishes! No matter what. I think I said enough about this :)
Cook my own food when I have it. Truth is, I've lost my interest in cooking and started this really nasty habit of ordering takeout multiple times a week. What I noticed is that I wasn’t eating my regular, healthy meals and my motivation was down spiraling. This also hit my bank account. So I decided no more take-out. And in cooking for myself, I've fallen back in love with the art of making meals. It feels like I love myself a little more each time I make something for myself. And it’s super meditative for me.
Phone-free Nights. Another habit that i’m sure i’m not alone. I would spend my evenings before bed, and in bed, scrolling social media, looking up things that I was curious about, and most of the time would remember i needed to send an email or look up something and it would spiral into midnight Amazon shopping. Instead of looking at my phone at night, I write down all the thoughts and to do’s instead of grabbing my phone to order that useless piece of thing I think I need from Amazon. I’m finding I’m sleeping better and go to sleep more easily.
Move my body once a day, afternoon dance in my living room to my favorite song, walk, yoga, whatever it is…I move. I easily would prefer to not move my body, it really takes motivation for me. You may be surprised, but I’ve never really enjoyed movement, going to the gym or working out. I love the feeling after.
After doing this now for over a month I can say I’ve seen a huge impact. I have more focus, drive, and clarity.
Reflection for you: What habit do want to change but are avoiding or resisting?
