The Hallway in-between Spaces and Time
I was recently talking with a friend and she’s struggling through a major transition in life. As I was listening to what she was experiencing and feeling, it reminded me of something that was shared with me long ago and a major life transition that I went through years ago. I was reminded of the transformation that took place and brought me to who I am now and continue to evolve into.
I said, “You know, right now you’re in the hallway.”
Once one door closes and we’re waiting for the other door to open, We’re in the hallway. It may feel like a really long, dark hallway. You may not even see the door handle of the other door. Damn, you may not even see the actual door. And you may not even realize you’re in a hallway, but you are. And before you know it, you realize you’re in a hallway and you start walking step by step, putting one foot in front of the other. And you slowly make your way to the next door, open it, and a whole new world is open before you. The challenge is for us to stay in the hallway long enough, to be in the discomfort and the growth long enough, so we are prepared to walk through that next open door. That open door is always waiting for us.
Standing in the hallway has been a challenge for me. Now I've gotten better about being in the hallway, but it still presents a challenge. Being in the hallway means having patience, waiting, sitting with myself long enough to allow healing to take place, to allow the inner wisdom to absorb the lesson that life has presented to me in that moment. It’s much easier to just move on to the next open door and forget about the door that closed.
In thinking about this, when we don’t stand in the hallway of our life long enough, the next door that opens will be a longer hallway than the last. And then, we will have miles of hallway to stand and walk down, forcing us to sit long enough with ourselves to awaken to our true self, our strength, resilience, and power.
I’ve learned a few things in my own experiences facing major life transitions and I thought I would share them with you today…
Be still. We often want to jump to the next thing to not feel what we’re feeling. Find a few moments in the morning just to sit. Not to read or meditate or to plan or to check email. Just sit. I now have a morning stillness practice where I just sit with my tea and take in the morning. It’s beautiful.
Get out in Nature. Take 5 minutes to walk outside wherever you are. Nature is such a beautiful grounding presence and can allows us to stay present in the moment. Especially if you’re feeling anxiety about the future and where you’re headed, nature can be such a beautiful way to calm our nervous system especially when we breathe in the fresh air.
Write a list of all that you’ve accomplished in your life. Stay in the gratitude rather than the judgment. I’ll start…
I’ve lived independently for 25 years in 5 major metropolitan cities in the U.S.
I’ve made an impact on thousands of young people’s lives through leadership development, service programs, and coaching/mentoring.
I’ve traveled the world going to several international destinations.
I’ve developed friendships with phenomenal people who I care about and who’ve made an impact on me.
Now look back at that list and remember all the transitions and hallways that you were in during those times to get to those places and experiences. We often forget the struggle we've been through before when we’re deep in the struggle we’re currently facing. Take a step back and remember.
Gratitude. Write a gratitude list. It sounds so cheezie but gratitude really is miraculous. It can shift our mind and heart from scarcity and not enoughness to abundance and worth. When we’re feeling uncertain about where this hallway in life is taking us, we can stay anchored in gratitude and abundance to support us in opening that next door, easing the anxiety. Start small and let the list grow.
When I really think about it, life is one big hallway. It’s what we do in the hallway and really in this life that matters. We can kick and scream and complain about being in the hallway, or we can make use of our time and live it.
It’s up to you.
And I’m here to support you in whatever transition you’re facing or experiencing.
